Salam Alaikum dear Brothers and Sisters, I hope you are doing well and feeling at peace.

Warm welcome new member to the group.

Yesterday, I saw a scene on social media that really would like to share with you. A boy, maybe around 5 years old, kicked a big toy car. His father, clearly felt upset, took the car and threw it through the balcony. Obviously it smashed.

This moment reminded me of something important:

Sometimes, it’s not just the child reacting, it’s the inner child inside the adult reacting too.

So today about INNER CHILD WITHIN US

We often forget that every behavior in a child is a form of communication. ‼️

🧠Children don’t have the words, maturity, or emotional awareness to say, “I’m overwhelmed,” or “I don’t like this.”
🧠 Children don’t yet have the abilities or emotional skills to recognise what they’re feeling, and alone to regulate their responses.
🧠*Their brains are still developing* especially the parts responsible for impulse control, empathy, and emotional language ( till 25 years old).‼️
But even mature adults, in their 30-60s with fully developed brains sometimes misbehave in public places touching exhibits, ignoring the rules and behaving impulsively.

So when kids act out, it’s not misbehavior in the way we often think, it’s simply an undeveloped way of saying: “Something’s happening inside me, and I don’t know how to deal with it.”

Instead, they show us with their actions, even if those actions seem wrong or upsetting to us.

In that moment, the father may have felt disrespected or rejected.
What was really triggered was his own inner child, a part of him that was never allowed to express frustration or disappointment safely.‼️

💭 Children communicate the way they CAN, not the way they wish they could.
And we, as adults, don’t always respond appropriately and especially when we’re carrying our own unhealed wounds.

💔 The truth is, children have a powerful ability to bring our buried emotions to the surface.
They mirror our internal pain. They activate old memories.
*They awaken parts of us we haven’t yet healed.*‼️

But what happens when we respond by shouting, slapping, or throwing things?

What message are we passing on? What skills we teaching children?

“If you’re angry, throw something.”
“If someone upsets you, hurt them back.”
“You don’t deserve kindness when you’re struggling.”

Or…

Can we teach them something else?

🌬️ Being upset is normal.‼️
But how we express that emotion makes all the difference.
Research shows emotions move through the body in about 90 seconds when we allow them without judgment.

So what we need to do just pause… breathe… feel it. ‼️

As adults, our brains are developed enough to regulate impulsive reactions. But our inner child still needs care and so does our child in front of us.

So next time if you’re triggered, ask yourself:

“What do I want to teach my child — and the inner child in me?”

Do I want to pass on pain or peace?
Wounding or wisdom?

🧠 Children can learn to recognise emotions and manage them but only with our help.
*They are not born knowing*‼️ what anger, sadness, or fear mean — or what to do with mixture of feelings. That’s why they need us.
When we stay calm, connected, and responsive, we help their nervous system calm down too.
This is called co-regulation - when a child borrows the calm of an adult to find their own calm.

❤️ *You don’t teach emotional regulation by telling a child to “calm down.”*‼️
You teach it by being calm yourself, by sitting with them in the storm, and showing that all feelings are okay — but not all behaviors are.

Remember:

“Your nervous system teaches their nervous system how to feel safe.”
“You are their emotional anchor until they grow their own.”

What could this father have done instead?

🌬️ Pause. Breathe. Stay calm. Feel your own emotions.
The child’s behavior was communication — not disrespect.‼️

❤️ The father could gently say:

“I see you’re upset. It’s okay to feel that way, but let’s talk instead of kicking.”

And if the parent reacted harshly — it’s okay.

They can always come back and say:

“I’m sorry. I was upset too. Let’s try again.”

*Every moment is a chance to connect, repair, and grow.*🌱

This teaches children the most powerful lesson of all:
You don’t have to be perfect to be a safe parent. You just have to be willing to grow.

Every moment is a chance to break a cycle and begin a new one.
If you find yourself repeating the same cycle: shouting, slapping, apologising, then doing it again and again—you need help.

This is a sign that something deeper needs attention in you. You’re not alone, and you don’t have to stay stuck.

I’m offering private consultations, to support you in breaking this harmful cycle and finding a better way forward, InshaAllah.

Sisters and brothers are both welcome. For brothers, a separate arrangement with another brother will be made to ensure privacy and comfort.

📩 Message me anytime. There is always a way to better.

With care and reflection,
🌱 May we all grow in compassion, awareness, and healing — together.🤲🏻

Have a peaceful and blessed Friday ❤️