What is emotional intelligence?

We for You | Daily Reflection | *by Maryam* ❤️

Salam Alaikum dear Brothers and Sisters, how are you feeling today?
Warm welcome new member to the group.❤️

What is emotional intelligence?
Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognise, understand, and manage your own emotions and to recognize, understand, and respond wisely to the emotions of others. It means pausing before reacting, seeing the deeper need behind words or actions, and choosing empathy instead of conflict.

Today I want to share a simple story about the “RUBBISH BAG” or how emotional intelligence looks in action.

My husband throws the rubbish, and sometimes I take the bag out, sometimes not. This time he saw the rubbish overcrowding, so he decided to take it out. Irritated, he said: “Why are you overcrowding it? Now I can’t remove it.”
It sounded like a blame. Also I felt my emotions in the body which I regulated. And immediately evaluated the situation. I saw him irritated, his body language showed he was tired. I paraphrased in my mind his own words: “I need help, help me to take the rubbish bag out of the bin.”
I came and asked: “Do you need my help? I can help you.” He said yes.
In another scenario, if I was the old me, I would have said something like, “What kind of man are you?” Or I would have tried to prove why I did that and why he couldn’t remove it earlier.

So dear sisters and brothers, next time when you argue with your spouse or feel emotions starts boil immediately stop, pause, regulate your emotions and ask yourself:
“What does my husband or wife actually want?” Look into their eyes and body language and ask: “How can I help you?”

I noticed:

1️⃣ My emotions and regulated them. There are many techniques that can help, but the key is to find what suits you the most.

2️⃣ The situation (the trash bag was overcrowded, and I admitted I was the one who overcrowded it).

3️⃣ The emotions of my husband (my husband was irritated and tired).

4️⃣ The underlying need (he wanted support, not criticism).

5️⃣And I chose to respond with empathy instead of reacting defensively.

That little shift regulating own emotions, pausing, interpreting, and offering help, turned what could have been an argument into teamwork.

💡 You can learn:

✅When you feel irritation rising in a relationship, pause first➡️feel➡️regulate yourself.

✅ Ask yourself, “What does my spouse actually need right now?”
✅ Look for body language and tone , it often reveal more than words.
✅ And when you feel irritation, try to respond with a supportive question like, “Do you need help?” or “How can I make this easier?”

This simple change can turn conflict into teamwork and bring more peace into your home. 🌸 Even if your spouse still looks irritated, upset, or angry, don’t escalate. Stay calm, respond with empathy, and let peace guide your reaction.

It takes time to learn, to understand, to practice, to heal yourself from old patterns, and to change. I am still learning more about myself and strengthening my emotional intelligence step by step. Self-development is everyone’s own unique process - my advice: never rush.

And dear brothers and sisters, don’t just read my messages, read, reflect, and practice if you want growth. 🌱 Become conscious of yourself and of the people around you. That’s how real change and self-development happen. And remember, I’m with you all in this journey, continuing to learn together.

Wishing everyone inner peace and growth.✨