Salam Alaikum sisters. I hope you all are doing well. 🌸 Even I know many things I still need to stop and consciously see my reactions towards situations. Many of our reactions to the situations are unintegrated emotions and feelings what we already carrying inside us.
We will be talking about triggers and unintegrated emotions in class 10:30 am ( UK time) this Sunday InshaAllah. 🤗
So today short R.E.M.I.N.D.E.R. to everyone and a task to everyone.
- [x] Notice your reactions to situations consciously, see around you how other parents reacting and communicating with children.
I’ll give you short explanation:
Example: YOU ARE INVITING THE CHILD TO CLEAN HOUSE. HE'S NOT COMING. YOU INVITING AGAIN, AND AGAIN, AND AGAIN… HE'S NOT COMING. YOU WANT TO RAISE YOUR VOICE.
AND HERE STOP✋🏻🛑. INHALE AND EXHALE.
ASK YOURSELF:
WHAT DO I FEEL AND WHY?
…I FEEL ANGRY. HOW MUCH I CAN DO FOR HIM, HE DISRESPECTS ME AND HE IS CONSTANTLY NOT LISTENING TO
ME AND TALKING BACK (these initial thoughts are just a step towards seeing the real needs and feelings).
NOTICE WHAT EXPECTATIONS RAISED IN YOU:
*HE IGNORES ME,
*HE DISRESPECTS ME,
*HE MUST COME
(NONE OF IT IS TRUE, THEY ARE JUST YOUR THOUGHTS‼️).
WHAT YOU CAN'T SEE THAT MOMENT❓
YOU CAN’T SEE:
UNINTEGRATED MEMORIES WHEN YOU WERE NOT SEEN AND HEARD, WHEN YOUR NEEDS WEREN’T MET BY OTHERS, WHEN YOU WAS THREATENED BECAUSE YOU "DISOBEYED " YOUR PARENTS.
STOP IT.
SEE THE SITUATION CONSCIOUSLY .
SEE YOURSELF AND YOUR CHILD. WHAT DO I REALLY FEEL AND WHY DO I FEEL THAT?
Try to notice thoughts, feelings. Not to react automatically and repeat what has already happened in your childhood/ past, but to respond to situations consciously. Positive parenting and conscious parenting is not about perfection 🚫
It is about being here, now and consciously seeing yourself and other human being in a situation. ❤️