Salam Alaikum sisters. Hope you are doing well. 🌸
We continuing theme about boundaries.
Raising child should be by building respect and connection with the child, AND NOT THROUGH CONTROL AND OBEDIENCE!
Parents often say: “He/she does not respect any boundaries!”without realizing that those boundaries, do not even match child's development and it’s parents and not children responsibility to draw boundaries according to natural children development.
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"What has been said he/ she must do it! If we were listen to child’s demands, we wouldn’t leave the house at all.”
The goal isn’t obedience. The goal is to arrive on time to necessary place.
Ask yourself:
How can I HELP myself and child to to do it in harmony and in respect for the child (and the child's development)?
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"Can you shut up?!”
Stress arising from excessive stimulation is a completely normal thing. We can express our needs respectfully, in peace of mind. Is the child responsible for this? No.
Ask yourself:
How can I help myself adjust and reduce stimulation?
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"Not allowed !”
So many things are not allowed. For a child who can’t naturally control his impulses, manage with all “No" is impossible.
Even items are protected and fenced off from adults in museums (prevention without expecting that everyone will support the limit by itself), because people cannot resist temptation touch items “secretly” EVEN AS AN ADULTS.
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Children are not bad. They are not misbehaving specially. KIDS ALWAYS BEHAVE THE BEST THEY CAN.
Children behaviour either fully corresponds to their development, or it’s
communication of their unmet needs.
We have to see our children and
to respond in the best way we can, and take responsibility for the boundaries we want to keep, and solve problems together with the child.
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Boundaries are an extremely important part of a child's development.
We,parents, are responsible for the boundaries.
How to draw boundaries respectfully and how to solve problems together with a child we will be talking tomorrow. InshaAllah ❤️