Salam Alaikum sisters🌸 How are you feeling today?
We are teaching kids, don’t shout, don’t be angry, respect and talk normally.
How would you feel if another adult says these words to you? Probably most of you become more angry?Upset? Or maybe you’ll calm down your voice ? Have you ever shouted to your spouse: “ I want and I will shout! You shut up! “ and received back “ You shut up!”… or something similar?
With what vibes and tone you are coming to conversation? Have you ever noticed how your tone changes during conversation and conflicts? Have you ever noticed that moment when you becoming angry? Upset? What words, intonation triggered you?
Again, most of us lacking emotional intelligence, we all want to be heard and understood. Unfortunately raising voice, blaming, blackmailing ect won’t solve a problem or gives us solution. That minute we adult’s loosing temper and brain, screaming, blaming each other and acting out like little children.
And the most interesting and even funny when spouses becoming more conscious about themselves and noticing that but still can’t stop acting like children.
To keep calmness it’s very difficult. So
if the discussion becomes too much heated up -TAKE A BRAKE. Remember, you are right in your own world and understanding and your spouse is right in his own world and from his perspective. And at the same time you both are wrong. Because what seems is right now after some time can be wrong, or you’ll change your opinion. You might really not hear and understand each other that moment, so the best is to take a break. Say I need to think about it and I’ll be back with my opinion later.
Feel all emotions, shout if you need it, but express everything in the most healthiest way for yourself and others. Breathing techniques, ablution, drinking water, reciting, writing down everything helping to feel emotions.
Btw, don’t leave unanswered questions or suppress angriness. All emotions are given to feel them. So if your husband or you say forget it, peace and you are right just because you are feeling alright it’s fine. But if you saying that but still feeling not everything is right and alright you MUST communicate with each other. Because everything is settling in your body and all unsolved problems, not felt feelings and suppressed emotions, also not said words will come back in the most unpleasant ways.
So next time when you both act out and you notice that it’s not a healthy and adults conversation comfort each other. Because your both inner child is stressed and afraid, needs hug, attention, understanding and ❤️.
Btw I’m learning myself and sometimes catching myself acting out like a child or noticing that it’s not my thoughts. I’m laughing, that consciousness and awareness allowing to catch jinn by the tail😄 and return back to normal adult state.
Wishing everyone patience and become more conscious about yourself and each other. Wishing everyone respectful tone in conversations and wisdom to step out from conflicts on time. 🌸