Salam Alaikum sisters. How are you? 🌸

Wanted to continue about adults conflicts but today about CALLING NAMES/BULLYING. And just because I had situation yesterday.

I already wrote that first kids bullies are parents but would like to stress few more points.

Many of you probably know I’m working with SEN kids and their families. I was on duty and one of my colleague said we are laughing at that child and calling him “jacked potato”. 😩😭 Said it proudly and laughed. Sadly, not the first time I’m hearing adults ( parents as well) bullying kids in such way. The boy is extremely smart at his age and with his disability. And as everyone deserves respect.
I asked that colleague ( male) why are you calling him like that. I was told he was called like that because he is fat (😩🤦🏼‍♀️) and rude. I was like 🙄 rude? Fat!? Never saw rudeness in him. “ Yes, rude! He is never saying thank you and goodbye” -I was told.
That moment I said, that everything starts from adults behaviour. Kids aren’t born rude, or “ jacket potato”. He said true, and I saw confusion in his face.

Name-calling is abusive, derogatory language, or insults. It is a form of relational bullying. Sadly, this behavior is common among kids too.
75% kids suffering from this type bullying at school. Under that are hidden messages "you are not accepted" and “you’re not good enough.”
Victims are often dissatisfied with life, having low self esteem, feeling lonely and sad, might feel depressed and have suicidal thoughts. Some kids who been abused at home and school, and called bad names becoming aggressive. And usually they are hiding inside that pain. Then one day ( often unexpectedly) spitting everything out and misbehaving.

If a person is called a “loser” or “ fat” their internal voice will learn to call themself a loser or fat as well when they make mistakes or try to loose weight. The problem is that this inner voice is hard to switch off and it’s not very objective. Kids who been called “ fat”, “ugly” ect as an adults might suffer from low self esteem and bully others, tender to have eating disorders and other psychological problems.

Changes in behavior, sleeping habits, and moods should always be considered the first warning signs that something is wrong.
If your child is being called names at school, bring it to the attention of the teacher and headteacher.
Btw kids usually asking parents not to make more complicated and not to go to school. But please be observer and don’t leave your child alone. Child needs to be in care and advised to walk away, tell to the teacher and you.
It's also important to look at all sides of the situation. Sometimes, it might be that your child has also done name-calling (or other misbehavior) to the person doing it to him.

Children and adults often bully due to their own low self-esteem and that the name-calling is usually not about the target but instead a reflection of their own insecurities.

So if you noticed you are calling names your children or spouse or anyone else aren’t you a victim of being bullied by others? How is your self esteem and how secure you are feeling in life?

If you in childhood or your child faced with such situations, how did you deal with it?