Salam Alaikum sisters. 🌸 Hope you all are doing well.
Today, I wanted to discuss a video that came up in the media. Above was written a question: “If your child threatens to scream, what would you do? Would you have threatened your mum like that?”
As always, commentators are divided into two camps: one side saying punish her, the other blaming the parents.
Whether it was filmed on purpose or not, such or similar situations are very common. Unfortunately, they are not uncommon in Muslim families either.
If we only see it as “she’s manipulating and testing patience,” our reactions will come from frustration. But if we consider what she’s seeking—connection, play, importance, love, or security—our response changes.
In this video, the problem lies between the parents—there is a huge communication and parenting gap. Parenting is not just the mother’s responsibility. Both parents must behave as adults and take responsibility for themselves. A man must be a MAN (Alpha male), a father who supports his woman, his wife, and his children mother. A WOMAN must be an adult, not a desperate girl, but a grown woman, a wife, and a mother.
Rules and boundaries come from emotional maturity. If we, as parents, don’t understand ourselves and grow emotionally, how can we guide our children, be role models, and influence them for the better?
Children need rules and boundaries, stability, and security to learn communication and emotional intelligence. The focus should be on self-development because parenting starts with us.
And as I mentioned before, no punishments or respectful parenting will help when we are dealing with hormonal imbalances, blood sugar levels, improper nutrition, bad sleep routines, excessive screen time, and insufficient time spent outdoors. First, we need to address these factors when they are right in front of us. Look at the child’s body!!! (No wonder the father is also dealing with these issues, as well as the older daughter). Childhood obesity is a complex issue that must be addressed by considering all of these factors first!
As for the child, sometimes letting them scream is part of their emotional process. If parents feel embarrassed, they need to turn inward.
When I say “letting them scream is part of their emotional process,” it means that sometimes children express their emotions, like frustration, anger, or sadness, through crying or screaming. It’s a natural way for them to release intense feelings, especially when they don’t yet have the words or emotional maturity to express themselves differently. Allowing them to do this, WHILE MAINTAINING BOUNDARIES, will help them process and manage their emotions. It’s important to recognise that this is part of their emotional development.
I hope you all can now see the situation in the video from a different perspective and understand how important it is to grow and become emotionally mature, communicating adults.
Regarding boundaries, rules, meltdowns, tantrums, respect, behaviour in public, and how this situation could have been handled differently, these topics will be discussed further in classes and private meetings.
Wishing everyone personal growth and wisdom. ❤️