Salam Alaikum sisters.🌸
Today I realized very clearly again, that the most important thing in parenting is not theoretical knowledge, but our inner state.
When we are at peace (clearly aware of what we are feeling and why, without blaming others), then we can truly see ourselves, others and the whole situation without filters. We can see a child and respond to him/ her.
If we get stuck in the circle of our emotions, we feel right about everything, we start to demand control, obedience - the connection collapses. We start to annoy each other, the child gets lost, he/ she has no longer a basis for security. Then a child will look for it in various ways, strong emotions will arise again and it is a circle from which you can get out once you start to look only to yourself.
That's why in my classes and consultations so much we talking about US - adults, about our unintegrated memories, emotions, traumatic reactions, and not just "what to do when a child...". Because until we change our perspective, until we remove all filters, we won't be able truly SEE our children as they are and we won't be able to connect with the children.