Salam Alaikum sisters🌸Hope you are doing well and enjoing Sunday.
Today about SEX, SEXUALITY AND IDENTITY.
To be honest it’s a hudge topic what most of the parents are scared or feeling uncomfortable/ embarrassed to talk and discuss with their children.
We parents are responsible for the attitude towards body. And if we provide correct information in the family, if we talk with them and won’t escape from children’s curiosity and provide correct information according to children’s age, children will trust us, come back to talk about anything in the future ect.
And main our tasks are:
1. Educate children respect their and others bodies.
2. Remember to have a penis and a vulva (vagina) is natural and normal.
3. If we talk to children naturally - they accept it naturally.
4. Love our bodies what were given to us.
5. 5-6 year old children sometimes try to look at each others private body parts out of curiosity. It is important not to condemn/ blame, but to explain why we don't do it publicly.
6. Explain how people treat intimate areas.
7. We must be sure of our sexual values. Remember - sex is normal in the life of an adult.
8. Talk to your spouse, decide who will talk about which topics with the girl/boy.
9. You have to do your own research on the topics you will discuss. I always say do your homework first. Expand your vocabulary on the topic of sexuality and develop courage to talk about it.
I WANTED TO NOTICE: naming correctly body parts for the children from the beginning (anus, penis, testicles, vulva, and vagina) parents preventing children from abusers, children are more confident, more body-positive and less prone to make jokes about it.
We usually naming one name- private body parts, it’s correct but children must know correctly what are these parts names.
We adults should understand that to respect child’s body we need from the birth. “ I will lift you now”, “ I’ll remove nappy, it might be cold”… talk with your baby, explain what you are doing, show respect. It’s another human being and it’s his/ her body.
I’m encouraging everyone to rethink your childhood and experiences, also discuss with your spouse about this topic. Discuss about your feelings and have knowledge from Islamic perspective.
As much as you will be prepared and willing to talk with your kids about sex and sexually and answer their questions they will be at ease and you will be in relation with your kids.
If you are not feeling comfortable to talk about sex and sexuality with your kids means you stuck in your childhood and teenagers age. Because you are parent, not other way round you need to grow up yourself again. And here can help books, lectures, classes… seek help.
If you don’t know how to answer say to your child you need time to rethink and come back. But you really need to come back with an answer. Don’t leave unanswered questions or tell your child that he was found in a cabbages field or stork delivered.
When should we start talking about sex, sexuality ? And what to do if a child is masturbating at 7 years old or touching his penis at 2 years old?
What boundaries we set up and what we should explain to children will be texting soon InshaAllah.
Wishing you a peaceful Sunday❤️ Salam Alaikum