Salam Alaikum sisters. Hope you all are feeling well🌸
Today about MORNING RUTINE, DEMANDS AND DIAGNOSIS.
And I’ll start from the real story of my work experience with families. (The most important thing for me is to teach you to become more conscious parent. Then you’ll see changes in yourself and kids.)
So part of my job was observing kids, their parents, communication and relation. One family had 3 kids. All of them were till 10 years old. All kids were “misbehaving” according to parents and teachers. The oldest child, 9 years old, was “put”( by the “specialists”) under diagnosis ODD.
Nowadays “specialists” putting almost everyone under diagnosis. To get diagnosed in my opinion it’s very easy nowadays.
A bit info about ODD. “ODD is Oppositional defiant disorder (ODD) is a type of behavior disorder. Children with ODD are uncooperative, defiant, and hostile toward peers, parents, teachers, and other authority figures. Developmental problems may cause ODD. Or the behaviors may be learned”.
So that child mornings were starting from fights with a parents. And it’s not because he was diagnosed with ODD but because parents couldn’t see and understand child’s needs, couldn’t hear and feel what child communicating, couldn’t connect and communicate according to child’s natural development.
Negativity, swearing words, demands, rushing, fights for mobile phone ect. was each morning routine.
The child was extremely smart boy, but everyone was treating him as SEN child: parents, teachers, “specialists” and no one saw him as another human being who is not against anyone, just seeking love, wanted to be understood and heard.
I can’t tell you full story, but wanted to make you think and consciously see how are your kids feeling in the morning? Do you see their needs? Can you feel them and connect? Are you rushing, pushing, demanding?
Remember, it’s very important how you starting your day and how your kids starting their day.
You can’t expect your child will have a good day and not misbehave at school if he is already in stress, anxiety, angriness from early morning. Some children are in continuous stress ( they already waking up stressed) because of adults and home/ school environment.
It’s so much to do with us, adults. We need to turn to ourselves first and start to grow again.
It’s very handy to put child under diagnosis ( yes, even for parents, especially in the UK) but to be honest all children are our future. All children need our connection, relation, understanding and love. They are future husbands and wives, moms and dads, work colleagues and specialists.
I highly recommend everyone to do this task:
Make a list of things you demand from your children. Then reflect on how well you yourself fulfilling these expectations in your life.
And also reflect on how you and your children starting new day.
Wishing everyone inner peace ❤️