Today about being angry and shouting/yelling 😡

Salam Alaikum sisters.🌸 How are you feeling today?

Today about being angry and shouting/yelling 😡

How many times you said:

"YOU MAKE ME SHOUT AT YOU!" 😡

And how many times your heard from your child:

“WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME?!”😭

Or if you didn’t hear it verbally it doesn’t mean your child never questioned this in his/ her head.

Will tell you my story in classes and our private meetings InshaAllah but now would like to remind you:

A child is never and cannot be responsible for the feelings of an adult.
Only you are responsible for how you respond and how you react to the situations.
I sincerely invite you to grow together, and if you have any questions, send me a message 🌸

The word “responsibility” in English can be read as "the ability to respond or the respond to your ability" and it means the possibility of (conscious) response or the response to your ability. This is exactly the sort of responsibility -opportunity you have. And the children are waiting for you to recognize it and use it ❤️ because only parents are responsible to create a relationship with their children 💗

It can be very difficult immediately to stop react without shouting, yelling, aggression, rejection, because your whole body responds to the situation in this way: your heart starts beat faster, energy accumulates in your hands and so on.

Now you can reflect on how difficult it’s for YOU as an adult to stop and to choose a logical solution, evaluate the situation and adjust... But you expect from a 2-5 years old who CAN'T do it even if he/she wants to, except suppress himself/ herself out of fear and rejection threats (which to the child is equivalent to death), because belonging to the family is the child's direct survival.

A certain part in us believes that shouting, scolding, punishment and other strategies are the best in that situation + subconsciously, you see your child as a threat, because when you were a child you were treated the same way: when you "disobeyed" and you showed your emotions, dissatisfaction... It wasn’t accepted with empathy, no one helped you to go through these emotions, you were left alone, called bad names, ashamed, or physically harmed. You had to suppress such strong feelings in order to survive. They remained unintegrated and your child causes you all that anger, pain, and at the same time strong stress now - because he/she becomes a threat.

So we are not reacting to our child's behavior, but our past - our inner child is reacting to our child's behavior. Therefore, in order to raise children, we must first raise ourselves again.❤️