So in any relation should be 2 connected people by blood or marriage or relative and I would add…or friends, colleagues ect.
One more First, we should always turn to ourselves and not try or hope to change others. IT’S impossible to change another person. Person should want to do it by himself/ herself. Another thing, you’ll see change’s in everything and everyone if you’ll start changing and upgrading yourself.
So start from yourself and everything what you learning show to your husband/ wife. Share it, communicate, discuss and contemplate. We all are different and we all growing up in our own pace. I always saying you might be doing “phd” and your husband/wife is still in “nursery”, that means you both learning and developing different. So help each other to grow, leave ego aside, don’t take anything personally and accept that in relation both sides needs and wishes matters. COMMUNICATE. Muslims usually showing generosity to others, doing charity and helping each other, so why not to be helpful for each other in families?

Most of us not only knowing how to communicate but also not having emotional intelligence skills ( self awareness, motivation, social skills, empathy, self regulation). And it’s ok, not too late, we still can learn it😊
The most important to be conscious about yourself and notice is your inner child acting out or you are having generational trauma, where your inner beliefs coming from, how mature you are in communication and relation ?

I would like to stress, that conflicts are a normal part of any healthy relation. People can't be expected to agree on everything, all the time. They helping us to grow, to see another perspective, understand things, reflect and to turn to ourselves. When you're able to resolve conflict in a relation/ having healthy conflict it builds trust. You can feel secure knowing your relationship can survive challenges and disagreements and it's ok to have different opinions or feelings.
It’s all about healthy and unhealthy approach.

In some cases, if you completely living in 2 different worlds and you both going different directions, you tried all methods and can see that you distancing from each other more and more means souls mission is completed and you both need to take steps for the best interest of the children, yourself and each other. Again, itself it’s very individual and ALL POSSIBILITIES should be used in first place. In some cases Allah SWT sorting it itself.
But I wouldn’t recommend to wait and do nothing. Emotionally and psychologically hard and persistent, prolonged situations affect all family member’s well-being and causing psychosomatic illnesses.

There is a joke:
Couple in their 90’s decided to divorce. Judge asked them:
- “Why now?” And the couple answered:
- “We didn’t want to divorce earlier we waited while our children will die”🤷🏼‍♀️😄