Recently, a brother asked me, “How can I understand my wife?”

We for You | Daily Reflection | *by Maryam* ❤️

Assalamu Alaikum dear Brothers and Sisters, I hope you are all doing well InshaAllah.

My answer was:

You don’t need to understand her. You probably never will. Just love her for who she is and see her as a human being.

Easy to say. Much harder to do.

Then another brother said:

“There are no normal women nowadays.”

That made me pause and question my own knowledge.

*What exactly is the definition of a “normal woman”?*🤔

And you know what? After reflecting on it, I think I actually agree.

Not because there are no good women, but because there is no such thing as one “normal” woman.

*Every woman is different. And even the same woman can be different from one week to the next.*❣️
The truth is, sometimes women don’t fully understand themselves either. One week we’re ready to conquer the world, the next week we’re crying because a cat looked sad in a video. Such is life. 😄

So instead of trying to solve the mystery of women, let’s talk about something that might help both brothers and sisters: understanding the female cycle.

And sisters, don’t blame men if they don’t understand what it’s like to live with us through our periods and PMS.
If they are willing to learn, let’s teach them. After all, we can’t expect understanding if we never explain our experience.

And brothers, thank you for being willing to learn. You may never fully understand what it feels like, but your willingness to listen, learn, and support means more than you may realise.

🩸 Bleeding / Period phase (typically the first few days of the cycle)

Energy is low. Cramps may be high. Motivation has packed its bags and gone on holiday.

Brothers, this is not the best time to ask, “What’s for dinner?”

Instead, be kind, be helpful, bring tea, bring snacks, and perhaps take over some household chores without being asked.

Bonus points if you do it before she has to explain exactly what needs doing.

⚡ Recovery & Rising Energy phase (often the week after bleeding)

Energy starts returning. The sun is shining again. Life feels possible.

This is often the phase where she’s productive, motivated, social, and wondering why she ever doubted herself.

However, a gentle reminder: not every woman experiences an immediate energy boost. After bleeding, some women may have depleted iron stores, especially if their periods are heavy. In those cases, energy may return more slowly, and fatigue can linger for a while. So if she still seems lazy, she might be feeling tired, her body may simply still be recovering.

💕 Ovulation / Peak Fertility phase (around the middle of the cycle)

This is often the “I can do everything” phase.

Around the middle of the cycle, many women experience ovulation. This is when an egg is released, and biologically it is the time when a woman is most fertile and her body is most prepared for pregnancy.

It is no coincidence that many women may feel more energetic, confident, attractive, affectionate, and motivated during this phase. Nature is gently encouraging the possibility of creating the next generation.

This is often the phase where she feels like organising the house, solving family problems, starting a new project, learning and maybe even picking up your socks from around the house without complaining.

Brothers, please pay attention:

If she picks up your socks with a smile during ovulation, do not assume this is her permanent personality. This is a seasonal offer, not a lifetime contract. 😄

🍫 Luteal / PMS phase (the one to two weeks before the next period)

And now… the plot twist.

Energy starts dropping. Patience becomes shorter. Small annoyances suddenly seem much bigger.

The way you chew.
The way you breathe.
The fact that you exist too loudly.

Things that were adorable two weeks ago may now require extraordinary self-control.😬

This is usually not the ideal moment for criticism, debates, or comments such as:

“You’re overreacting.”

The correct answer is to hand over the chocolate and slowly back away.

❤️ For women

Learn your cycle. The better you understand it, the more you can work with it instead of fighting against it.

❤️ For men

Learn her cycle. Not so you can manage her, fix her, or explain her emotions to her. Simply so you can support her better.

❤️ For both

Less assumptions. More communication.

At the end of the day, every woman is different. ❣️Some experience these changes strongly, others barely notice them. There is no one-size-fits-all guide.

The goal isn’t for men to understand every detail of women.

The goal is to listen, ask, learn, and love each other through the differences.

*Work with nature, not against each other.*❣️

We recently explored this topic in much greater depth during one of our sessions. Although it was tailored mainly for women, I highly encourage husbands and wives to watch it together. Sometimes understanding doesn’t come from having all the answers, but from learning about each other’s experiences and having honest conversations about them.

Watch here:
https://youtu.be/EBwHTSxdr9U?is=9RO5PVJEsttsa6aZ

May Allah SWT grant us wisdom to understand one another, patience during difficulties, compassion in our relationships, and the ability to communicate with kindness and respect. May He bless our marriages, families, and communities with love, mercy, and tranquillity.

Ameen. 🤲🏻