Salam Alaikum sisters. 🌸 How are you feeling now?
PUNISHMENTS
What feelings this word raising in you? How you was punished in childhood? Why we want to punish kids? What skills kids learning through your punishment methods?
I write about children, but today's adults were once children too. And when I write, I try to show how everything is connected from the time a person is born to the time when he is 30 -40-50 …years old - how every part of life joins together and forms the whole personality. And most of the basis of an adult's life is not formed at school or university, it is formed during the first 8 years of a person's life, during this time a person creates his subconscious, his beliefs, perspective of life, self-perception, relationships (relationship with himself/ herself, parents, siblings, partners, work, activities, nature, hobbies ect).
Our communication and parenting methods is a message what we are passing to our children.
So when we are angry 😠 and punishing kids we are passing a message about punishment.
All punishments message is: “I will make you feel bad that you understand how you really should behave”.
PUNISHMENTS FOR CHILDREN AREN’T JUST PHYSICAL VIOLENCE: USING BELT, KNEELING THEM ON PEAS/ BEANS ect.
PUNISHMENTS FOR CHILDREN ALSO ARE AN ANGRY LOOK FULL OF DISSATISFACTION, GRABBING THE HAND, SHAMING, COMPARING WITH OTHER CHILDREN, REJECTING, NOT TALKING TO THE CHILD, SHOUTING, YELLING, PUSHING THEM TO ANOTHER ROOM, USING TIME OUT AND MANY OTHER THAT PARENTS DOING CONSCIOUSLY OR SUBCONSCIOUSLY.
YOUR STRICT TONE, RAISED VOICE, DENYING SOMETHING, INSULTS, PULLING THE CHILD, SHAKING, THREATENING AND OTHER ACTIONS THAT CAUSE THE CHILD FEAR OR (EMOTIONAL, PSYCHOLOGICAL AND/OR PHYSICAL) PAIN CAUSES ONLY MORE STRESS AND MORE DIFFICULTY (AND DIFFICULT BEHAVIOR) FOR CHILD!
BEHAVIOURAL CONTROL (THROUGH REWARDS AND PUNISHMENTS), DOES NOT SOLVE THE PROBLEM, ONLY DEEPENS IT FURTHER, WHICH MAY LEAD A CHILD (ADOLESCENT) TO SERIOUS VIOLENCE TO HIMSELF OR OTHER PEOPLE.
Remember, when you punishing a child :
1. 💔THE CHILD WILL NOT SUDDENLY GET SKILLS. (Children learning through learning process when brains are relaxed. Obviously due to punishment brains are tensed and closed).
2. 💔THE CHILD'S DEVELOPMENT WILL NOT ACCELERATE FOR A FEW YEARS AHEAD.
3. 💔THE CHILD'S NEEDS WILL NOT BE SATISFIED FROM THIS.
🛑The roots of the behavior will remain❗️
REJECTION IS A BIGGEST TRAUMA.
All punishments are rejecting the child and showing that he is not a suitable/good person for the family. AND OF CAUSE THAT DISRUPTING CONNECTION WITH A CHILD.
That these teachings won’t be just simple words , I’ll give you examples from parents who already asked. But you can ask your questions and I’ll answer asap.