Salam Alaikum sistersš¤šøHow are you?
Most of us expierenced uncontrollable anger šand we couldnāt stop hurting our kids that moment. I donāt know parent who never verbally and/ or physically not abused children: shouted at them, slapped, ect.). Almost every parent regretted by doing this but still most of the parents repeating it.
These uncontrollable reactions are because what we learned from childhood and because of the stress we experiencing that moment.
āWhen parents are stressed, they are less sensitive towards their children's needs and are more likely to use harsher disciplineā.
With beating a child or shouting you wonāt teach anything, except to hate, shout back and beat othersš¢
So we need to become conscious what are we doing.
Before Iāll start giving life examples about respectful communication I need to ask you all to do one step:
SLOW DOWN.
To see the child, to see from his prospective, to be in relation, to feel your children and yourself, and spouse, to see other people and consciously think -you need to SLOW DOWN.
There is no other option to change yourself or to become better parent only to take a decision to slow down in everything.
In eating, cooking, working, praying, playing with kids, talking with spouse, giving attention to yourself and others.
Let all the world š rush and tell you you are slow, but take a decision to do everything in your own pace.
I know for most of you it sounds ridiculous, unusual,silly and even impossible but itās just because you already afraid, doubting and brains giving you thoughts: āthen I wonāt be able to liveā¦to be on timeā¦will be chaos at home and husband will be angryā¦piles of unwashed clothes and hungry familyā¦ā
Now practical things how to SLOW DOWN!
1. MINIMALISM- get rid of unnecessary contacts, items, worries about future or past, bad habits, learn to tell ā noā to others.
Itās not easy to let things easy go, but you are a master to choose things in your life. Your life time, your health, your jobs are limited. So sit and think about excessive things you are having now. And get rid of them by taking a decision.
2. Create intention in the heart ā¤ļø IāM NOT RUSHING. Iām doing that for me and my family!
3. Whatever you are doing: cleaning, cooking, playing with kidsā¦ BE HERE AND NOW ! If thoughts swirling you around catch the thought and refocus on what exactly you are doing.
Example: my thoughts while Iām cooking are about what I should do tomorrow, recalling past how my husband shouted at me yesterday, regretting that didnāt call mom and so onā¦Immediately stop. And say to yourself : āIām here, now, peeling carrots, what is next ingredient?ā.
4. Focus ONLY ON ONE TASK AT A TIME! For that you need to plan your day same day. Do only must things! People getting exhausted when they overusing themselves. Overusing means: overworking, overthinking, multitaskingā¦.
Inside energy or vital energy is limited. And we all having different limit of inner energy, health and capacity of brain. So instead of worrying how can I slow down better sit and plan your day. About how to plan your day in the best way Iāll write.
5. WRITE DOWN TASKS YOU MUST DO same day in the morning. Remember your capacity of energy and your health is not like mine or others capacity. I saw that most of the people nowadays canāt handle more than 2-3 big tasks per day. So forget about small tasks doing at the same time. Itās multitasking!!!! And itās absolutely wrong what leading you to stress and uncontrollable behaviour.
We exhausting ourselves with unnecessary things and expecting to have energy for kids or spouse??? To handle their emotions itās not easy if you are completely exhausted š„±
We more or less all living in mess and emotionally are in chaos, but only we, by ourselves can take a decision unlearn things and start to behave differently.
Saturday and Sunday is a perfect day to SLOW DOWN for most of us!!!
So SLOW DOWN in everything !!! Just do it!!!
Bring a calm to a busy worldšš¤ā¤ļøšø