We for You | Daily Reflection | *by Maryam* ❤️
More and more, I find myself consulting with young people who are trying to figure out where they fit in life. They’re searching for purpose, a meaningful career, hobbies, and, above all, a sense of belonging.
Today, I worked with a young person who believed they were struggling with motivation. But as we explored things together, it became clear that the issue wasn’t motivation at all. It was consistency, personal responsibility, and learning to keep showing up even when motivation wasn’t there.
It reminded me of something important: motivation is an emotional state it fluctuates.
Consistency is a behaviour. Responsibility is a choice. These are the qualities that move us forward long after motivation has faded.
This isn’t just one person’s story. It’s part of a much bigger picture.
Research consistently shows that young people are experiencing unprecedented levels of loneliness. According to the UK Office for National Statistics, around 40% of adults aged 16–29 report feeling lonely often, always, or some of the time, making them the loneliest age group in Great Britain.
As a holistic consultant, I also notice another pattern. Many people are searching for happiness, but they’re actually chasing joy.
From a psychological perspective, joy and happiness are not synonymous. Joy is an emotion, like sadness, fear, anger, guilt, or shame.
Emotions are transient, they come and go.
Happiness, however, is better understood as subjective well-being, a more enduring state that encompasses life satisfaction, meaning, and psychological flourishing.
This is where mindfulness research offers an important insight. Studies consistently show that people who develop the capacity to be fully present, rather than constantly chasing the next dopamine hit through scrolling, shopping, or external achievements, report greater psychological well-being. Presence doesn’t eliminate difficult emotions; it changes our relationship with them.
We can experience sadness, fear, disappointment, or uncertainty and still feel deeply happy because happiness is not the absence of discomfort. It’s the capacity to engage fully with life as it unfolds.
Think about the moments when you have felt truly happy. Chances are, they weren’t the loudest or most exciting moments. They were often the quiet ones: sitting by the sea listening to the waves, walking barefoot through the grass, sharing a meaningful conversation, enjoying a simple meal, or taking a deep breath and realising, I’m alive, and I’m here.
You weren’t necessarily overwhelmed with joy, but you were fully present.
Happiness isn’t something we find. It’s something we cultivate through present-moment awareness, consistency, meaningful relationships, and living in alignment with our values.
Purpose rarely arrives before action. It is built by consistently showing up, keeping promises to yourself, nurturing genuine connections, and contributing to something greater than yourself.
So perhaps the better questions are not:
“How do I find motivation?”
or even,
“How do I find happiness?”
But rather:
“Who am I becoming through the choices I make every day?”
Because purpose isn’t usually discovered in one life-changing moment. It is created, one intentional day at a time.
I’d love to hear your thoughts.
What do you think young people need most today: more motivation, or a greater sense of connection, presence, purpose, and belonging?
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