I’d like to share a simple story that carries an important lesson.

We for You | Daily Reflection | *by Maryam* ❤️

Assalamu Alaikum dear Brothers and Sisters, I hope you are all doing well.

A mother was preparing meat for dinner. Before putting it into the pan, she cut it into two pieces. Her daughter watched and asked, “Mom, why do you always cut the meat into two pieces before cooking it?”

The mother replied, “I’m not really sure. My mother always did it that way, so I do the same.”

Curious, the daughter went to her grandmother and asked, “Grandma, why did you always cut the meat into two pieces before cooking it?”

The grandmother smiled and said, “I don’t know. My mother always did it.”

Finally, they asked the great-grandmother. She laughed and said, “Oh, that’s easy! I had a very small pan, so I had to cut the meat to make it fit.”

The lesson is clear: not everything we inherit is necessarily the best, the most valuable, or even relevant today.
Sometimes we continue traditions, habits, or beliefs simply because “that’s how it has always been done,” without ever asking why.

Psychology describes this as social learning and intergenerational transmission. We naturally adopt the attitudes, habits, beliefs, and behaviours of those who raised us. This process helps us learn quickly and adapt to our environment, but it also means we can unknowingly inherit ideas, fears, prejudices, and habits that no longer have a purpose or may never have been correct in the first place.

This is especially important in marriage. Every husband and wife comes from a different family, each with its own traditions, expectations, communication styles, and assumptions about what is “normal.” One person may think, “This is how a husband should behave,” while the other believes, “This is how my parents always did it.” Without discussing these expectations beforehand, both spouses may assume their own way is the only right way. This can lead to unnecessary misunderstandings, disappointment, and conflict.

Research in psychology shows that many marital disagreements are not caused by bad intentions but by unspoken expectations. We expect our spouse to know what we consider normal because it feels obvious to us. Yet our spouse may have grown up with completely different experiences.

Healthy relationships develop when couples communicate openly, listen without judgment, and intentionally decide together which values and habits they want to build into their own family.

The same principle applies to every area of life. Whether it is culture, traditions, parenting, communication, or even our personal beliefs, we should never stop asking respectful questions. Asking “Why?” is not a sign of disrespect; it is a sign of wisdom and a desire to understand.

The lesson is not that traditions are bad. Many traditions are beautiful and worth preserving. The lesson is that traditions should be understood, not followed blindly. We should keep what is beneficial, let go of what is harmful or no longer relevant, and always seek knowledge before passing something on to the next generation.

Let us teach our children not only what to do, but also why they do it. Understanding creates conviction, while blind imitation often creates confusion.

May we all have the humility to reflect on what we have inherited, the wisdom to preserve what is good, and the courage to change what is not. By seeking understanding rather than simply following habit, we can build stronger families, healthier marriages, and communities rooted in faith, knowledge, and compassion.

May Allah SWT grant us wisdom to recognise what is true and beneficial, and guide us to act upon knowledge with sincerity and understanding. Ameen. 🤲🏻