Salam Alaikum dear brothers and sisters. I hope you are all doing well today.
Warm welcome new members to the group.☀️

I already shared about the drama triangle and the victim role on sister’s group. The truth is, the victim role often appears in unhealthy relationships, and suffering in marriage is often a continuation of that.

So today, a message about
SUFFERING IN MARRIAGE.

💔 First of all, NO ONE should have to suffer in marriage - not a man, not a woman, not their children.
Marriage, like life itself, is not static. We must admit and understand this. Just as the ocean has waves and our moods rise and fall, marriage also has its natural dynamics. It fluctuates, but it is not meant to be a constant struggle. Rather, it is a journey of growth together.

Some couples argue once a week, some once a month, some very rarely. What matters is not how often, but how respectful the disagreements are.

🚩 What’s NOT NORMAL ‼️

⚡️Fighting every single day, especially with insults, shouting, or blame.
⚡️Constant negativity or criticism that leaves no room for kindness.
⚡️Conflicts that never get resolved, just repeated.‼️
⚡️Fear of your partner’s reaction (walking on eggshells).

🧠 Psychologists have found that couples with shared values and similarities tend to have longer-lasting and more stable relationships. But it’s not only about similarities. There are other crucial ingredients too.

Even the best marriages need:

✅ Respect and kindness in daily interactions.
✅ Compassion and patience during hardships.
✅ Nurturing from both partners.
✅ A foundation of trust and mercy, as Allah SWT describes in the Qur’an: “And He placed between you affection and mercy.”
A marriage without these elements becomes draining, and instead of being a place of peace, it turns into a source of pain.

Dear sisters, remember: you deserve a marriage where you are valued, respected, and cared for. Never believe you must suffer endlessly to keep the family together.
Islam encourages peace, kindness, and justice in the home.

And dear brothers, remember as well: you too should not suffer in marriage. A husband also deserves respect, kindness, and compassion. Just as a woman should not accept constant criticism, disrespect, or abuse, neither should a man.

*Suffering and abuse should never be normalised or accepted as “just part of marriage.”*‼️

Marriage is not meant to be a prison for either spouse.
Allah SWT calls marriage a place of peace (sakinah), love (mawaddah), and mercy (rahmah). If those qualities are missing, it is a sign that something needs attention, healing, or even outside help.

💌 If you are struggling in marriage and don’t know how to communicate anymore, please know you don’t have to face it alone. *You can find support*- message me privately, or reach out to your local masjid, support groups in your area, or trusted community members for guidance.
Sometimes just sharing your pain lightens the burden, and sometimes outside help is exactly what we need to see things more clearly and make a decision.

But don’t forget - everything has a beginning and an end.

Unfortunately real gentleman cannot live with a woman who constantly nags, disrespects, and behaves with a low mentality.
And the same truth for men: true ladies cannot live with men who lack respect and honor.

Marriage requires dignity, respect, and good manners from both sides.

So, gentlemen can live only with true ladies and ladies can live only with true gentlemen.‼️

I always say: turn to yourself first and start from yourself.

May Allah SWT bless all our marriages with love, patience, and understanding, and guide those who are struggling towards what is best for their deen, dunya, and akhirah. Ameen.🤲🏻❤️