Excellent question. 👍🏻Thank you!
There is no university or institution where we all can learn the most effective parenting style before we become parents.
This group and what I’m teaching is all about being conscious and growing up ourselves again beside our kids. It’s all about being in relation and seeing another human being ( a child) in front of us.
Obviously to be in relation you need to be conscious and willing to understand your child’s natural development. And it’s not about being passive or allowing children to grow without boundaries and rules.
Everything what we learned coming from our childhood. There are different parenting styles but usually parents using few of them even without consciously thinking about it.
I was talking about different parenting styles in classes, mentioned here as well.
But definitely I need to write it more about it.
I noticed that one of the main reason why parents conflicting are kids. And actually when you digging deep it’s not even about kids, it’s all about us, our inner attitudes, beliefs, provisions and our inner child. It’s all about how we are feeling and understanding whole situation.
It’s all about how we been raised and how we would like/ won’t like our children will feel, behave ect.
If you don’t mind I’ll rephrase your questions and join them in one:
-How to blend different parenting styles and apply it practically ?
1. GOLDEN BUT SIMPLE RULE IS COMMUNICATION!
Parents must sit together and discuss about their parenting responsibilities, their childhood experiences, expectations and FIND SIMILARITIES OR COMMON GROUNDS.
Parents may agree on the importance of rules and boundaries but they may disagree about what this means.
Children feeling secure when parents both agreeing and setting reasonable boundaries and rules.
That’s why it’s important that both parents setting and keeping same rules in place. YOU ARE A TEAM! and it’s adults responsibility.
I don’t know how at all is possible to raise or parent kids without communication 🤷🏼‍♀️
Parents should communicate REGULARLY with each other and with kids.
If you both having concerns and disagreeing with each other do it BEHIND CLOSED DOORS better or when kids are not at home.
Remember, you are adults, so to set boundaries, to keep them in place, to discuss about parenting is your BOTH RESPONSIBILITY.
2. LEARNING ABOUT YOURSELF, UPGRADING YOURSELF, DEALING WITH YOUR INNER CHILD TRAUMAS IS YOUR BOTH RESPONSIBILITY TOO.
If a husband or wife saying “I’m fine, I’m ok, if you want you learn and upgrade, go to courses or do whatever you want ” it’s fine if you living alone, it’s your personal preference but if you living in family and naming yourself as a husband/ wife and mother/ father you should strive towards knowledge and self development.
You both must be a role models for your children. So you both should cooperate and learn together, go to courses ect.
Disagreements and fights can lead to problem behavior in children.
People are dynamic and changing, so each person needs always to turn to himself/ herself instead of pointing to others or situations. Be conscious and question yourself :
What I’m feeling?
How I’m feeling?
How do I know that?
Where it’s coming from?