Salam Alaikum sisters. Hope you all doing well.🌸
DO YOU TRUST YOUR CHILDS DEVELOPMENT ?
Most of you probably will answer yes and some of you say no.
Today about EXPECTATIONS WHAT CORRESPOND TO CHILD’S NATURAL DEVELOPMENT.
❗️ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT INFORMATION WHAT PARENTS NEED TO KNOW AND UNDERSTAND ❗️
Very often parents share that they have "such a smart girl or boy": "My child PERFECTLY RECITES QURAN, she speaks perfectly in sentences since she was 3 years old, she's very smart!"
However, the ability to control impulses and not hit, will not necessarily be related to the rapid development of language or even to the understanding of the situation. And this does not mean that the child does not want to stop. It doesn't mean that he is behaving badly on purpose. It just means that she can't do it right now, just like you, when you KNOW that shouting at the child is not the right solution, but sometimes it still happens.
As a child grows, we naturally expect that his development will grow evenly along with him, but everything is a little different... Human development is not smooth, not linear and does not necessarily correspond to chronological age, but it does not occur evenly in all areas. A 4-year-old child can be like a 2-year-old in his emotional development, but like a 6-year-old in his language development. And this does not mean that he is advanced or "falling behind" and needs corrections, that's just his development at the moment.
So what are the developmental periods? Children go through very distinct periods of BALANCE and IMBALANCE.
Up to 18 months, they change very often, and from 18 months to 6 years, they change approximately every 6 months (different for each child). The period of BALANCE is when the child has integrated new skills, when it becomes easy and pleasant to be with the child, he himself feels more stable, but the period of IMBALANCE no matter how uncomfortable, is necessary for human growth, development of skills.
The period of BALANCE occurs when the child's perception can effectively process new information, so children feel confident and able to safely navigate their world.
The period of IMBALANCE takes place when the child can no longer fit new information into the existing perception model and needs to re-broaden perception and adapt. This period reflects the child's inner confusion,
chaos, the child feels restless.
A period of BALANCE is necessary for stable development. It gives children clarity, predictability, competence in communicating with the world. This is the period when the skills they have already acquired are consolidated and easily and successfully applied.
The IMBALANCE period, however uncomfortable, is essential to human development. It encourages children to move forward, question, explore and ultimately expand their cognitive and emotional abilities. TIS IS MAN FORCE TO GROW.
Each child develops differently, for one the balance period may last 4 months and a more difficult period for 8 months, for another it is the other way around. Development is not necessarily equal to age, not everything happens according to the children development tables and that is NATURAL. Every child is unique and different aspects may develop at different speed. A 5-year-old child's speech development may be like a 3-year-old child, but his emotional development is like that a 5-year-old child. Physical development can be like a 7-year-old child.
At the same time, the child is a whole. Cognitive, emotional, social, physical areas affect each other. A child's environment, experiences, and genetics contribute to his progress through periods of balance and imbalance.
So when we say "Expectations that correspond to the child's development" - it is exactly about the development of THIS CHILD, about where HE is at that time, not what expectations are named according to the child's age.
If the child can fulfill that expectation , it means that it is an expectation that corresponds to the child's development. If a child cannot fulfill that expectation, even if other children of the same age can, it means that it is not a developmentally appropriate expectation for THIS child.
Knowing all this, we can carefully observe and trust our children to show us where they are and meet them where they are, instead of judging where they "should" be, what they "should be able to do" compared to other children or growth charts.
Still I’m showing the children development chart on this group as many parents don’t know what is natural children development.
How to use the chart? You need to see what age is your child, then what that age children doing and how they are growing. Then check one line up and one below. These charts are created as a guidelines.
But I’m encouraging everyone to raise YOUR CHILD, and see THIS child in front of your eyes. Don’t compare with siblings and other children.