We for You | Daily Reflection | by Maryam ❤️
Assalamu Alaikum, dear Brothers and Sisters 🌿
I hope you are all doing well on this blessed Friday.
As I mentioned in another group, recently I started reading Al-ʿUbudiyyah: Being a True Slave of Allah by Ibn Taymiyyah. It is quite a heavy book, but there are certain parts that really make me stop and think.
While reading about the dimensions of ʿibādah (worship), one definition particularly stayed with me:
“Al-ʿIbādah is a term which comprises everything that Allah loves and approves of, from the apparent and hidden sayings and deeds.”
And immediately I thought about marriage.
If worship reaches our words, our actions and even what is hidden within us, then surely it also reaches the way we treat our husband or wife.
It made me ask myself:
What would marriage look like if we remembered Allah not only during Salah, but also in the middle of a disagreement?
Would I still need to have the last word?
Would I deliberately say something knowing it would hurt the person I love?
Would proving “I am right and you are wrong” still feel so important?
Disagreement itself is not necessarily a bad thing. Two people will not always think, feel or see situations in exactly the same way. Sometimes difficult conversations are necessary, and when handled with respect, they can actually help us understand one another better.
But there is a difference between disagreeing to understand and fighting to win.
Perhaps this is where ʿubūdiyyah becomes very real.
Before I am a husband or wife trying to prove my position, I am a servant of Allah responsible for my words and actions.
We are human. We become emotional, misunderstand each other and make mistakes. Living in obedience to Allah does not mean we will never experience anger, hurt, disappointment or conflict.
But it should influence what we do with those feelings.
I can be angry without humiliating.
I can be hurt without deliberately hurting back.
I can disagree without becoming disrespectful.
I can believe I am right and still listen.
And when I realise I am wrong, I can have the humility to admit it.
Allah describes marriage beautifully:
“And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.”
(Qur’an 30:21)
Tranquillity. Affection. Mercy.
Maybe sakinah doesn’t mean a marriage without difficult moments. Perhaps part of creating that tranquillity is learning how to go through those moments without losing mercy, honesty, respect and consciousness of Allah.
❤️ A little Friday reflection for our couples:
The next time we disagree with our spouse, can we stop for just a moment and ask:
“Right now, am I trying to please Allah, or am I simply trying to win?”
May Allah SWT bring sakinah, affection and mercy into our marriages and help us remember Him not only in our prayers, but also in the words, choices and responses we give to those closest to us. Ameen. 🤲🏻
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