A warm welcome to all the sisters who have recently joined our group.

We for You | Daily Reflection | *by Maryam* ❤️

Salam Alaikum dear Sisters,🌸
I hope you are all feeling better and better, InshaAllah.

Today, I’d like to talk about communication. There are so many videos and pieces of content about how to communicate with your husband, children, siblings, parents, friends and colleagues.

I have three simple rules that have always worked for me:

1. See THE PERSON in front of you without comparing or judging them.

2. Meet them where they are, not where you want them to be.

3. Pay attention to the energy and emotions you are bringing into the conversation.
People respond not only to our words but also to the emotional state behind them. If we approach a conversation with anger, frustration, or a need to “win,” that energy is often felt before our message is heard.

Some reminders that have helped me:

🌷 When emotions are high, lower your voice instead of raising it. That requires your conscious awareness.❣️One of the easiest ways to train yourself is to pause before responding. Take a slow breath, relax your shoulders, and ask yourself:*‘Do I want to react, or do I want to communicate?’*

🌷 If the other person becomes defensive or wants to win the argument rather than understand, pause the conversation and return to it later. Remember, you won’t achieve much because the logical part of their brain has already shut down, and emotions have taken over.

🌷 Don’t chase someone who has emotionally shut down. Let them know you are available for a respectful conversation when they are ready. Example: If your husband goes silent or needs space, avoid repeatedly asking, “What’s wrong? Why aren’t you talking?” Instead say: “I’m here whenever you’re ready for a respectful conversation.”

🌷 If someone says, “That’s just how I am,” remember that you don’t have to abandon your values or boundaries. You can acknowledge who they are while also deciding what is healthy for you. That’s why I first teach people to understand their own values and boundaries.

🌷 Don’t waste energy proving your feelings or experiences. Speak your truth calmly and confidently.
Example: If someone says, “You’re imagining things,” avoid arguing for hours. Calmly say: “This is how I experienced the situation, and my feelings matter.”

🌷 The goal of communication is not to defeat the other person. There is no victory in communication. ❣️ Most people see themselves as right from their own perspective. The goal is understanding, connection, and finding a way forward together. Example: During a disagreement, instead of trying to prove who is right, ask: “Help me understand how you see this situation.”

The older I get, the more I realise that wisdom in relationships is not endless patience, silence, or sacrifice. It’s the ability to protect your inner peace while treating others with dignity and respect.

“By the mercy of Allah, you were gentle with them. Had you been harsh and hard-hearted, they would have dispersed from around you.” (3:159)

🌷 Allah SWT reminds us that gentleness is a strength, not a weakness.
Effective communication is not about winning arguments but about maintaining connection, understanding, and respect.

May Allah SWT bless our relationships and help us communicate with kindness, wisdom, patience, and emotional intelligence. Ameen. 🤲🏻❤️

Please do share what communication principle has made the biggest difference in your relationships?